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Wednesday, June 30, 2010

In Less than 24 Hrs

Assalammualaikum.
Huurrrmmm..... I can smell freedom. :D

Wellll, what should I write about now?
How I fared for my OSCE today?
Or how am I anticipating tomorrow's freedom?

Let's start off with the OSCE.
There were 5 stations altogether; 3 PE stations and 2 history stations. The PEs were: patient with haemothorax, BP measurement and palpation of the abdomen. I think I did fairly well for the first 2. *clap clap and grin*

You see, once we start reading the question outside the room during the 40secs they gave, we're supposed to visualise how the patient should be positioned in the room, what examination are we going to perform, and what should we expect in that case. And usually, students get caught when the station requires the patient to be examined while lying flat but when we came in, the pt was lying on a propped up bed. The student should REMEMBER to correct the bed. And I did.

So, after the exam, I went out of the Skills Centre with friends and in that hustle of other students discussing the case, scolding some examiners, scolding themselves, someone came and asked me, "Did you realise that the patient in the abdomen palpation station was CROSSING HIS LEGS?" And I was "WHAAATTT????" I didn't notice anything at all! He wasn't supposed to cross his leg, and if he was I should have realised and asked him to uncross his legs. *dush!*

So yes, that's how I fared for the last station, I'm not sure how many marks that cost me. Rumours are if you got the position of the patient wrong, you FAIL that particular station, and one station is 20marks. Please, just minus few marks, don't fail me. Please please please.....

And one of my weakest skill is taking BP measurement. But today, thanks to Him, the patient's Korotkoff sound was very clear and audible. And I think I managed to get a reasonably accurate BP. But, I forgot to inspect the arm before taking BP. Teeeet, minus mark!
And the student before me wasn't able to complete the station, she came out in a rush, later than usual. So it gave me that "OMG this station is gonna be hard" feeling.
And while putting on the BP cuff on the patient's arm, I was practically trembling, trying to be CORRECT and FAST at the same time. And when I inflated the cuff, there was this velcro sound, the sound you hear when you pull apart the BP cuff after measuring BP, know that sound? Yes, that was the sound, indicating the BP cuff I applied on the patient's arm wasn't secure and tight enough, but I didn't have time to correct it so I just continued. And luckily nothing bad happened, bad as in the cuff fell down or the examiner asked me to re-do etc.

History station, nothing much to say. Just this one patient, I asked him if his fever came with any other illness, he said "No". But he kept combing his hair with his finger so I asked if he's having rashes, then only he admitted he's having rash. And that was the hint that lead me to ask other questions and apparently, he's suspected of dengue. Thankfully, I realised his act of scratching himself, or I won't be able to arrive at my possible diagnosis.

Why was I disappointed with the OSPE yesterday?
Let me tell you, there was this one station, with 4 pictures.
They were pictures of the machines one will find in a blood bank eg blood centrifuging machine etc. The questions required us to name the 4 machines, state their functions and at what temperature are they operated on. And it cost 10 marks!
I can only identify correctly one of them i.e the blood centrifugation machine (I THINK it is one) and functions of the 3 other machines, and the temperature of one of them.
I hope I can at least get 5 marks for that. And that wasn't the only difficult station.

Ok, another 5 stations of OSCE to go tomorrow!
Hope I'll do it alright. =)
And after that, is freedom time!
I'm excited with this coming holiday as I planned a lot of things to be done already. I hope I'll have the time to complete it all. =)
*smile*

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Wednesday 30th June 2010
11.50pm

OSCE

No, this post is not going to talk about how I did for my OSCE.
I'm writing this about 1hr 30mins before I'll be quarantined for the OSCE.

I do not know what to read anymore, but I feel guilty if I do other things instead of reading so, I ended up writing this post.

Just feel like sharing some beautiful photos and no, I didn't capture them.

"Simply because I need calmness and serenity now*



Nicely painted bedroom


Uniquely painted workroom


This was made from toothpicks!!


Nice house beside the lake with beautiful garden. I was told this is a house in Holland. I won't be able to verify anyway.


She'll have very well developed and strong calf muscles. =p

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Wednesday 30th June 2010
10.34am

Tuesday, June 29, 2010

2nd Day of Exam

Looks like I'm gonna blog about my exam days everyday. And for today's OSPE (Objective Structured Practical Exam), my comment will be:

AaaaaaRRRRggggGGGGhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!

Okay. That's it.
Let's move on.

No wonder seniors said OSPE is the paper that will either kill you or bring your grades up.


Anyway, tomorrow is OSCE (OS Clinical Exam).
And this is my first time doing an OSCE, apart from the mock OSCE IMU gave us before.
And since I feel like talking writing, I'll just explain how OSCE will be held.

There will be 5 stations altogether and everyone will start at a different station. Since we've got our timetable and grouping already, I know that I'll start with station 7. So, what will happen is, in front of the room (station 7), there will be a question paper. And once the bell rang, I have 40seconds to flip the paper and read the instruction. It may be a history taking station, where I'll need to take history (basic and sufficient information) from the patient in that room. Or it can be a physical examination question. Eg, question says patient has tension pneumothorax, perform physical examination etc etc. So, I'll have to decide what to do, how to do it or what they possibly ask.

Then the bell will ring again, and I'll have 5 minutes to go into the room, take history or perform the examination, with an examiner standing there, observing how I do it. After 5 minutes, the bell will ring again, and regardless of whether I've finished examining @ questioning the patient or not, I have to get out of the room, go to station 8 (the next room) because another set of question will be waiting for me, and the 40 seconds had actually started! And if station 7 was a history taking station, station 8 will be where I need to answer questions based on the informations I asked from the patient in station 7.

See the tense?
I'm afraid I might go blank when I see the examiner. Some of them are really fierce (I heard from seniors and friends).
But some of them always try their best to hint us what we missed *May God bless them*.


1) My left middle finger is swollen, I've been practising my percussion during every free time I had for the past two days.

2) I got jaundice, pallor and cyanosis all confused and jumbled up, since they are all abnormal discolouration of the skin.

3) And I hope I get "nice" examiners tomorrow. Even if they don't help me with the hints, at least they won't put the "I-know-you're-not-going-to-score-well" face on them.

4) I think I'll continue reading my notes after this.

5) And I think I sound pathetic in this post.

6) And this is a very self-centred post.

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Tuesday 29th June 2010
11.35pm

Monday, June 28, 2010

Smiley

Assalammualaikum. =)

I had a terribly bad dream last night.
I can barely sleep, I had this "vision" and "feelings" where almost everything I studied was flashing, passing through my mind. It was almost as if I'm doing a full-blast revision in a night but, while sleeping. And I was very exhausted when I woke up, in fact I didn't feel like waking up. And I don't remember a single thing that "flashed through" my mind during my sleep. I'm pretty sure a lot of drug names came out.
I also had this weird dream of my friends while we're in KKB. Something REAL BAD happened to some of us, there were tears and tense, and I don't feel like writing about it.

I revised even during driving, with my notes on the front passenger seat, I was able to read it during the jam. Yeah, pathetic and dangerous, I know. =D
But once I reached IMU, somehow I felt better, although I walked into the hall feeling like I know nothing.

It's funny that we always feel like we do not know anything. It's like everything is just so blurr. But when the question papers in our hands, and the questions read, we know the answers (though not to all questions). I smiled to myself during the first two questions of EMQ (Extended Matching Q), I've just revised the drug names yesterday so they are still fresh in my mind. And when it came to the 3rd Q, I almost wanted to squeak. The theme was: "Blood Transfusion Reaction", and I studied NOTHING on that. I didn't even open the notes and flip through it. And that's how I totally, randomly "guess" the answers, and it cost me 25% of the whole paper.


Anyway, I don't think I wanna write much now. Just finished revising some anatomy and went through pathology pictures. I need sleep more than anything else now.

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Monday 28th June 2010
11.57pm

Sunday, June 27, 2010

In Dire Need of Liberation

Assalammualaikum.

1. I have about 13 books; fictions and non fictions to be read in the next one month. Hope I can finish them all.

2. I've been planning what to write in this post for a few days but when it's the time to write it out (which is now), I am blank.

3. I can't wait for 1st July, 2.30pm.

4. I have a lot of things to do for this one month, really I prepared a long list already.

5. My first project will be on this Saturday, July 3rd, just 2 days after my liberation.

6. I can't wait to go to a far far away place.

7. I've just finished reading revising Pharmacology, and so all the drug names are jumbled up in my head now. Clopidogrel, lovastatin, digoxin, sotalol, aspirin...and the list goes on.

8. Everytime I read out a drug name, I remembered just how Prof Achike pronounced it in lectures, "PHE-NOX-Y-BEN-ZA-MINE" , "PHEN-TO-LA-MINE". His style of talking is just, unique.

9. I'll be sitting in the exam hall, trying to get all the facts out of my brain onto the papers in less than 12 hours from now (and I'm wondering why am I still writing this).




10. I think I rant a lot in this post, I've written a lot of posts on my exam eves. And I think most of them talked about my plans for the holiday. *I'm lazy to link all the posts here. Heh, sorry..*

11. I need to score in this exam because this exam will influence the country JPA will send me to.

12. I'm lucky because I'm staying at home and thus exempted from doing my own cooking, laundry and house-keeping. I wonder how my life will be when I leave home. p/s: My mum's very worried about that but I'm pretty sure I'll be fine. =p

13. One thing with staying and studying at home, I am not influenced, stressed or freaked out by how other friends are studying. If I am in a hostel with friends, I might be more tensed up, seeing other people burying their noses into lecture notes.

14. I am using a different font for this post, if you notice (which I bet you don't). So if you are not chasing for time, feel free to scroll down and compare the font I used for the post before this with this post.

15. I wonder how will my life change as semester 4 starts this August (provided I pass this exam). My life seemed to change abruptly every new semester, and by the end of the semester, things will change again.

16. I am pretty confident I will pass this EOS3, only the grade will make the difference. But hey, JUST ANYTHING can happen. Should I fail this exam, and have to re-sit (God forbid), I'll be ...................................

17. I read almost everything in the syllabus but it's totally impossible to put EVERY SINGLE THING into my brain. And it's also impossible for IMU to ask EVERY SINGLE THING taught in lecture. Thus, it looked like it's balanced. I can remember 50% of what's been taught, and they'll ask only 70%(?) of what's been taught, and the passing mark is a little more than 50%. Means, very high possibility that I'll pass. But what if, what if the questions asked are from the 50% which I don't remember?

18. I haven't been logging into facebook lately, which is very good. In fact, I think I rarely log into fb this semester, compared to last semesters. And I think I know why; fb is just not as interesting as it was. So, to my friends who tagged @ commented @ posted @ just anything me on my wall, sorry for not replying to it. =p

19. This post have been edited many many times already. And I really am spending a lot of time on this. *sigh*

20. I sincerely hope and wish the best for all my friends sitting for the exam tomorrow. May Allah bless our hearts and minds tomorrow. =)

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Sunday 27th June 2010
10.52pm

Exam Crazeeeee

Exams.....are not good for health.

Full STOP.

-AkMaR-
6.17pm
Sunday 27th June 2010

Sunday, June 20, 2010

Story 1: Rabbit

Ahmad has a rabbit. He kept the rabbit in a cage placed in the small garden behind his house. He likes to play with the rabbit, sometimes he will take the rabbit and put it on his study table while he reads. Sometimes he will sleep with the rabbit.

One day, Ahmad got too busy with his life. The rabbit was at first confused because Ahmad rarely play with it anymore and it has been for few days. Thus the rabbit will come and play on Ahmad's feet until Ahmad kicks it off. Then only the rabbit knows that Ahmad is busy thus he shall not be disturbed.

When the "busy times" come, the rabbit will play on its own. And the "busy times" seemed never-ending. Rabbit learns how to go out of the garden, and play near the small river behind the garden. But Rabbit will always come back to its cage late in the evening, and Ahmad knows that well. Sometimes though, the rabbit does not come back to its cage, for 2 or 3 nights. But one thing for sure, the rabbit will come back to the cage sooner or later. Nobody knows what it did out there nor where does it sleep. Sometimes Ahmad will come and find the rabbit to feed it and play with it for a while, then he'll get back doing what he was doing.

Whenever Ahmad's friends visited the house, and if Rabbit is there, Ahmad will tie two of it's legs and make the rabbit hop around using 3 legs. And all Ahmad's friend will laugh looking at the entertainment. Most of the time it hurts Rabbit but Rabbit heals very fast. Maybe it's because of the food that Ahmad's mother gave to Rabbit whenever he forgot to feed Rabbit.

Deep in his heart, Ahmad knows that Rabbit will always be okay. Because he knows Rabbit has good genes. It's a well bred species of rabbit. And he knows that like dogs, Rabbit will never leave him. And so he rarely worries when Rabbit is not in its cage for few days.

Because Rabbit always come back.

That night, Rabbit went missing again.
Ahmad knows in few days time, he'll see Rabbit playing happily in the garden.
But he was disappointed, because Rabbit wasn't there.
He decided to continue with his activities, hoping that he will have time to play with Rabbit again.

One week later, Rabbit is still not back.

TWO WEEKS LATER......................................







ONE MONTH LATER.................................








THREE MONTHS LATER..........................................





It has been the fourth months, and Ahmad still has not found Rabbit.
No one knows what happened to Rabbit.
Could it be that the dog next door ate it?
Or could it be that Rabbit fell into the river?
Or maybe Rabbit lost its way?
Or maybe, Rabbit found another owner who played with Rabbit more often and never forget to feed it?

Ahmad regretted that he did not take care of Rabbit before this. And he blamed himself for that.

After six months, suddenly Ahmad saw another rabbit in the cage.
But that rabbit wasn't Ahmad's Rabbit. It's a different one.
So Ahmad decided to ignore it, because that rabbit might just leave the cage after a few days.

But, the rabbit kept coming back to the cage everyday even though no one fed it nor play with it.
And it has been going on for more than a month now.
One day, Ahmad decided to play with the rabbit, and he realised just how much he missed his Rabbit.
And he is happy that this new rabbit came to the cage.

Will Ahmad be able to take care of this rabbit better than how he took care of Rabbit?
Will he repeat the same mistake?

Theme of the story: Taking Things for Granted

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Sunday 20th June 2010
7.28pm

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

JPA Scholarships?

Assalammualaikum.

Just from the title of this post, I think many readers will know what I would be talking about.

I talked about my ignorance in how the money in Malaysia had been spent and now, after announcing the reduction/withdrawal of subsidies, another announcement was made.

Few days back, I'm pretty sure it was on Monday, I heard of the news that JPA will no longer sponsor students doing first degree overseas. And I was totally shocked. As a JPA-sponsored student myself, I'm fully aware of the benefits not only me, but my whole family is getting from the scholarship. I can't imagine how hard my parents will have to suffer to work to put me where I am studying now, if it wasn't for the sponsorship by JPA. And I am also aware of the neck-to-neck competition I went through before securing myself this scholarship. And I really hope my siblings will get a chance to secure themselves a scholarship too.

And now, JPA is going to PHASE OUT the scholarships.
According to the New Straits Time (June 14th 2010), the government will be phasing out the scholarship and offer more scholarships for courses in local universities. Click here for news from The Star.

However, the minister mentioned that undergraduate students who secured a place in top foreign universities such as Oxford or Cambridge may apply for the scholarships. And there will also be scholarships for postgraduate studies.

And the move was made because: THERE ARE COMPLAINTS THAT THERE WERE NOT ENOUGH SCHOLARSHIPS FOR OUTSTANDING SPM LEAVERS.
Funny, there were not enough scholarships so, reduce the scholarships instead of increasing them?

The minister also said that by cutting off the burden of funding undergraduates overseas, the country will have more money to fund students locally. And he said it's impossible to increase the number of scholarships as we do not have enough money. The amount of scholarships offered currently is 1,500. 300 are allocated for the Perdana scholarships. That left only 1,200 places. Only 1,200 places for more than 15, 000 applicants. (Source: NST and The Star). And that has NOT INCLUDED the "back door" people. There are bound to be people using "cables" and "contacts" to get themselves scholarships no matter how "transparent" JPA tried to claim to be. If not, explain how come some of the JPA scholarship receivers are from very rich families? I thought the scholarships are supposed to be only for mid to low-income families?

On June 15th (one day after the deadly announcement),
1) MIC and MCA urged JPA to retain the scholarships (source: The Star)

2) JPA emphasised that reducing the scholarships will not bring bad effects to the country, instead it will help the development of local universities. (source: NST, Utusan

3) UMNO Youth urged the government to revise the move to drop the scholarships offered for students. Source: Utusan.

As for now, 56% of the scholarships under the race quota are allocated for bumiputeras while 44% are for non-bumis (source: NST).

I believe that there are at least 3 most important components in building a good country; the army, the leaders and the people.

Other than occasional news about Malaysia buying new submarines or training our soldiers, I am not sure how good our defense is. Seriously, I don't know and I better not comment on it. But if it really is outstanding, why not send some for the Gazans. Heh =p.

The leaders; okay let's not talk about them. Some of them really are trying to help the people, congrats. But some of them are busier attacking their colleagues than taking care of their own responsibilities, thank you.

The people.
Although education is not the only way to success, but one can never deny the importance of education, at least to most of the people. Thus, by depriving the people from the chance of studying overseas, won't it not hasten the development and progress of our country?

Ok fine. Some might argue that studying overseas and in local universities do not bring much difference. Even the minister asked why are we doubting the quality of our local universities?

Well, in my year (2007), there were 1,800 scholarships being offered, and of that 80% are for science-based courses. Of this, 50% are for medicine. (Source: The Star) Ok, let me do the calculation, 720 places out of 1,800 places are for medical course. And 200 medical students in a single batch is considered A LOT, believe me. Doctors are not supposed to be produced like water bottles. There should be a quantity limit to a class. Thus, with this 720 new medical students per year, with 7 local national universities offering medical course (UM, UKM, UPM, UIAM, USM, UMS/Unimas and USIM) PLUS the numbers of students not receiving the JPA scholarship but doing medicine, does our country really have the capacity to accommodate us?

In an article entitled "Mushrooming Medical Schools Pose Concern" published in Malaysian Medical Resources (http://medicine.com.my), the quality of local medical graduates are questionable. So, this small country of ours actually STILL DO NOT HAVE THE CAPACITY to produce good doctors in huge amount, which was the reason medical students being sent overseas in the first place. I know the article did not suggest sending students overseas but, to develop our country, won't we need to do the best we can first? And that certainly is not by producing medical students like mushrooms. Undoubtedly, numbers of students interested in doing medicine will never decrease as years pass, thus there will never be shortage of medical students enrolling in med schools. And where there is demand, there will be supply. What need to be concerned off are the quality of "these supplies" that are created when there is excessive demands.

(I'm talking based on experience and I'm also giving medical course as an example because I'm in it. I do not know how the situation is in other courses)

Apart from that, do you really think there is no difference between a local and overseas graduate? An overseas (or at least JPA students) graduates were sent out there to live on their own with friends, facing all the challenges and exposures by themselves. And that made them a different person compared to what they were initially. Not to say local graduates are not exposed but, accept the fact, the exposures ARE different. Hence, Malaysia will not have only "one type" of people; those who graduate locally. With students graduating overseas, Malaysia will have a pool of variety professionals, and is that a bad thing?

And do you know that many people are amazed that Malaysia actually provides scholarships for the outstanding students to study abroad?
Isn't that giving Malaysia a better image?
Some of the people I know, from less developed countries were very much amused and "jealous" that Malaysia can afford to send us overseas.
And the government want to take that back?
I thought we are always working 24-7 to make sure Malaysia has good image?

With the growing number of population, isn't it just logic that the resource is expanding, and the numbers of scholarships available increasing?

How come we have not enough money left to fund deserving students?

Where had all the money been spent to?
The publicity of 1Malaysia?
The diplomatic visits all around the world by our leaders?
The feasts, dinners and festivals?
The luxury of "some people"?
And all that were done on the expense of scholarships of students?

I wonder where do all these ministers sent their kids to?
Local universities or overseas?

I'm asking. Just some questions. Full stop.

To not receive any complaints from the public on being "left out" or being "done injustice to" is impossible. But, to cancel off the scholarships because you can't satisfy everyone?
It's like killing all the chickens in the barn just because one or two of the chickens died of hunger.

In case I have not made my point clear, I totally disagree with the move of phasing out the scholarships.

We still need that.

For further readings:
Some of the blog posts by Dr Mahathir on the money of Malaysia:
1) Malaysia's Generosity on April 29, 2010
2) Not So Generous? on May 3rd, 2010

Zainul Arifin in his article in the New Straits Time on June 16, 2010 agrees with the move that the overseas scholarship shall be reduced. To read his opinions, click here.

p/s: I spent a very long time writing this post, when I should actually read on Lung Cancer. This news had been bothering me ever since it was announced.
And I hope the government will do the correct decision and change the announcement for the benefit of all people.

And JPA stands for Jabatan Perkhidmatan Awam or Public Service Department (PSD) in English.


-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Wednesday 16th June 2010
10.59pm

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Read Malaysia

Assalammualaikum
As I have mentioned earlier, I was involved in manning the chicken rice stall in Book and Education Fair held in Malaysia International Exhibition and Convention Centre (MIECC) from 4th June to 13th June 2010. Despite the tiredness of juggling the time spent there and studying for my upcoming end of sem exam and spending almost RM100 for books and stationeries, I gained precious experiences from the 10 day book fair.

Academic Excellence is Certainly Not Everything

There was this one foodstall near ours.
It was manned by teenagers whom I think they are siblings with another couple of adults
And when asked, the woman said the youngsters are her children and one of their cousins.
That foodstall is not her main source of income.
She has another book stall in the same bookfair and when I checked the stall out, the word "stall" is an underestimate. A store is more likely. The compound of her "book store" was huge, and all the books sold are chinese books.

She said she rented the foodstall and let her kids man with the intentions of teaching her kids how to do business, let them know that life is not easy; they have to work to earn their living. Despite teaching those basic living skills, she's also making sure her children did not spend the first 10 days of their holidays playing computer games, sleeping or some other time-wasting activities. The eldest of her children is 17 years old. I think the youngest is around 10 or 11, they look almost the same age. But I rarely see the youngest child. Maybe he/she's at home.

The booth is fully under her children's care, once in a while she and her husband will come and help them out. They also have one Indonesian worker, doing all the washings and cleaning. They sell delicious ice-creams, hot coffee and desserts. The lady paid her kids RM50 per day. Wow... That's a lot... She said she knows this foodstall will not bring much profit to her, it's more for her children's benefit and education rather than money.

And I think this lady deserves my respect.
Don't you think so?
As much as she loves her kids, she made them work hard for that 10 days.
And it's not a working-under-the-hot-sun work, it's just managing a dessert stall for 12 hours a day for 10 days.
And she taught her children the lesson of life.

Educate Your Child!

Ahah.. This is yet another funny topic.
In this fair, there are lots of learning aids aimed for small kids.
Ranging from electronic dictionaries, to e-books, to interactive educational CDs to "light and easy schoolbags".
And there was also a stage, provided for the educational company people to advertise their products. Or basically, it's something like a "parenting talk" where at the end of the talk, they'll recommend you their efficient tools for your kids' success.

And I almost laughed my heart out at the products.
Oops, sorry.
Not to say that I'm totally opposing these products but, I really think books are better learning aids than computers.
My mum used to make me sit with her and learn to read using one thick book full of words from A to Z. And that book was also used for all my other 3 siblings.
Nowadays, parents rarely have time to sit with their kids thus, this is when all the interactive, self-learning electronic learning aids come in handy. And they certainly are not cheap.
Make the young kids stare on the screen for hours a day, they'll wear spectacles way earlier than they are supposed to.
Seriously, even adults will have extremely tired eyes after staring on the screen for hours. Won't they?

So, in my opinion, reading books are way better method of learning for small kids than those interactive computer CDs in which the kids are supposed to match synonymous words, match pictures and sentences etc etc. Hahah..there you go. Parenting tip from me. =p

Hurm, I think I should end this post here and continue studying.

Because life is a test

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com


Tuesday 15th June 2010
4.51pm

Sunday, June 13, 2010

Why Can't Anyone Do Anything?

A conversation with a 5 year old,

"Do you know that there is a country named Palestine? This country has been "closed" by a group people. This group of people is called the Zionists. Now, the people in Palestine had been suffering for more than 60 years. They don't have enough water, they don't have clothes to wear. And when they are sick, there is no medication for them. Do you know that at nights, the weather there is very-very cold? They don't have enough blankets and sweaters to keep them warm. Sometimes, army from the Zionist group of people will come into their houses and kill their parents, maybe take away their sisters. Then their houses will be destroyed, just like how you disassemble your LEGO.

There is actually a way out of Palestine. In fact, there are many. But, one of the easiest way out has been closed by another group of people; the Egyptians. Egyptians are actually brothers and sisters of the Palestinians. They are supposed to be good people, and help the Palestinians, like how your older brother will come help you when you're bullied. But, there are some people in this country named Egypt who are very bad. All they can think about is money and power. So, they close the way out because, they were paid to.


"Don't the Palestinians fight back?"

"Ah yes, of course they fight back. They have been fighting for more than 60 years. It's very hard to keep fighting for 60 years you know...."

"But, isn't there anyone to help them?"

"Yes, a lot of people tried to help them. Some of these good people board on a lot of ships. They want to send food, clothes, medicine and toys to the people in Palestine.. But, the Zionist people attacked their ships. They sent helicopters, and commandos on to the ship. They also kill some of the good people."

"Why don't someone else send helicopters or aeroplanes too?"

"Oh, because the good people doesn't have much money"

"Why didn't the rich people help?"

"Errr...."

"Has the Zionist people been punished? Bad people must always be punished so that they won't repeat their mistakes. That is what you always tell me."

"Err... They haven't been punished."

"Who can punish them? Can anyone send helicopters to them? Or scold them so that they will not dare to do the same bad thing?"

"Err... It's all very complicated dear. Some people who have the power, dare not or will not punish them. Some people who really want to punish them do not have the power to do so. Some people don't even know that Palestine exist. Some people know, but they are too busy with their own lives."

"But why? No one is more powerful than the zionist people? That's not possible"

"Yes, there is. God is the Most Powerful. He will punish them when the time has come. For now, let us pray that all the good people will be given good health, good thinking and good lives so that they can continue their fights. Amin."

"Amin".

-AkMaR-

http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Sunday 13th June 2010
1.05am


Saturday, June 12, 2010

KKB Rotation Posting

Assalammualaikum.

All semester 3 IMU medical students will have to go for a 3 day rotation posting in either KKB Hospital or Gombak Hospital. This semester, I was assigned to the KKB Hospital which means, I'll be going to Gombak next semester.

 Us in the bus befor the journey. Photo credited to Tay Yao Zong.

As our rotation started on Monday, the bus took us from IMU on Sunday to KKB. There were 12 girls staying in the nurse hostel while some other girls opted to stay in the IMU-rented houses in one of the housing areas in KKB. All the boys were required to stay in the rented-houses. Of the 12 girls staying in the nurse hostel, 8 were in first floor and 4 were in the 2nd floor. And I was one of the 8. We stayed in a dorm of 4 double-deckers.

When we first came in, the dorm was very sticky, and dusty. At first we used our sandals in the dorm but after some sweepings and moppings by us, we decided to enforce the law of "no sandals allowed in the room". =p

Day 1 (Sunday)

We walked to the nearest town for more than 30minutes!
And we met the boys, who had been walking for more than 30mins too from their houses.
We ate in one of the (maybe the only) kedai mamak there and started walking back to the hospital at 8+pm.

 While walking to the mamak. All of us are actually tired.

By then, it was very dark and all 11 of us (1 reached later) walked in a group, using the main, long-stretched road. We weren't really sure of the shortcuts (though Tasha asked one of the people there) and decided not to take the risk as none of us took the shortcut before and the road was very dark wout the road lamps and none of us know self-defense.

Thank God, we arrived the hostel safely, sweating and metabolised at least half of what we ate in the mamak.
At night, we started packing our things, cleaning the room and then started to chit chat, creating friendships. We slept very late that night, chit chatting the whole night and playing game cards. Ravini brought her UNO card which she left some of it at home. Hahah... I learnt a lot of new card games that night.
 

Day 2 (Monday)
Class started at 9am.
We went for breakfast at the hospital canteen before the class and met the boys there, who came by the bus IMU provided.

Some of us were late for the briefing, and I was the first of the latecomers to go into the briefing room. I was shocked and intimidated to see that I was "welcomed" by a super fierce looking thin lady. She stared at me like I've just killed a patient and quickly ran towards the back of the room finding empty chairs.

She took attendance, she gave some brief briefing and then stopped when Dr Lim came in. My, Dr Lim was like the total opposite of her. Dr Lim told us what we were supposed to do for the coming 3 days, she told us about the nearest waterfall and she said we can go there "after work" at 4pm.

Camwhoring in front of the ward =p

During the first half of the day, we were supposed to clerk the patients i.e take their history and do physical examination on them. We were divided into groups of 3 and each group will have their own patient. Unfortunately, as soon as we reached the ward, most of our patients have been discharged (good for them, bad for us). 
In the second half of the day, there was bedside teaching. Since none of us have a case related to the systems we studied, Dr Sevu decided to discuss one of the emergency case that morning. I almost feel like we're in one of House episode although Dr Sevu was nothing like House, he's more humane.


In the evening, most of my dormmates went out for dinner while me, August and Tasha stayed in the dorm. That night, we continued our card games till almost 1 am. I did not study at all during the 3 nights there. In fact, I dont think any of us managed to study although some did hold the notes, trying to read them.

Day 3 (Tuesday)

We repeated the same cycle we did yesterday but fortunately, my group's patient wasn't discharged so we managed to get history and do physical examination on her. 

And yes, Dr Lim grew fond of our group (haha...she said our group is very enthusiastic). She invited us for dinner that night. Initially we planned to go to the waterfall since we'll be leaving KKB early tomorrow evening but it was raining awfully heavy and there goes our waterfall trip, bye bye....
We ate in one of the chinese restaurants, me and Tasha walked to the mamak to buy our own food to eat with the rest of the group. 




After the splendid and enjoyable dinner, Dr Lim treated us all ice creams!
So nice of her. We walked to the ice cream shop and had our own choice of ice cream flavour.
I'm pretty sure the owner of the shop slept extraordinarily happy that night, heh... 30 students come out of the blue, asking for ice creams... 

Crazy-ing at the roadside walking for ice crea
Line up! 1, 2, 3
THANK YOU DOCTOR LIM!
=)

That night also, while in the dorm, we created a new game; called KKB Medical Game.
=.="

Day 4 (Wednesday)

Again, we went to the wards during the first half of the day.
After lunch, we had case discussion with Dr Lim in the dining hall of the nurse's hostel.

All of us were happy and excited to go back home but, there was one slight problem; misunderstandings.
It took us a great deal of effort to actually understand the schedule of buses that were supposed to drive us back to IMU. 

We were told that the bus will be fetching us at 5pm but, the bus arrived at 6.30pm! Imagine the confusion and tense we went through just to make sure all of us can sleep on our own beds that night. =p

Anyhow, luckily the problem was solved and we were happy camwhoring and sleeping in the bus on our journey back to IMU. =) 

Pictures inside and outside the briefing room:

  

All in All

All in all, I gained a lot from this KKB postings.
I definitely learned how to do better physical examination since I get to do it on real patient this time, and I can really say one of my patient has dullness on percussion on his lower left lung!

We called and visited the maternity ward a lot of times, just to know whether there is any delivery being done. I've never watched any "live" delivery before thus I'm really anticipating a delivery. But, for the 3 days we've been there, there wasn't even one delivery! Even the nurse whom I asked answered in a very boring mood, "There has been no delivery, even we don't have cases to handle...Hurm...."
And I was like, what?? I thought delivery should be one of the easiest case to get, new babies are being born everyday. That, for me, reflectes the size of the KKB; no offence but I think KKB is quite a small town. Or perhaps, the villages have very good midwives that mothers need no hospital to deliver.

We managed to see a heart attack case on our last night there. The patient had been there for 2 hours so he was already stabilised and was waiting to be transferred to Selayang Hospital for further in-patient care. The doctor and attendants in the Emergency Room was pretty busy that none of us dared to ask them further about the case. Personally, I'm afraid of being snapped or scolded for intefering with their mounting workload. 

Dr Sevu gave us a enlightening speech. He advised us not to work in clinics because according to him, doctors working in clinics will lose their "clinical touch" after one or two years. And it's definitely not challenging compared to working in a hospital. He added that female doctors will usually opt to work in the clinics because the workload and working hours are less, simpler thus less strenous. 

Now, I'll say I don't want to work in a clinic. I want to continue practising as much as I can. After all, I spent (or will be spending) so many years learning the skills, why would I let it go wasted?
But of course, people change as time passes (at 14, I told myself I do not want to drive at all when I grow up) hence, who knows what will I say 10 years from now? 

Anyway, that's all.
Goodnight.

p/s: Some photos were taken from Natasha and Tay. Thanks! =p

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Saturday 12th June 2010
12.58am

Friday, June 11, 2010

The Wonders of a Human Heart

He always bring women back home. And his mother did not say anything to him. That mother-in-law of mine did not even try to scold her son for bringing back women home despite having a wife. Not only that, he always beat me. And most of the time, it was because he fought with the other woman. There was once he came back home, angry due to the fight, he came and punched me on the eyes, just like that. And I can't see properly for the next one month.

He is not working, neither did he try to. I earned only around RM1,300 per month and after paying the house rent, utilities and some other necessities, there is only RM500 left. And he took it all, leaving nothing for me.


hkljda

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

Chicken Rice O Chicken Rice

Assalammualaikum.
As many may have known, or have not known, my mother is an active member of the Malaysian Chinese Muslim Association (MACMA). And I have followed her in various activities for the past 2 years. 

There is a ReadMalaysia exhibition being held in the Malaysia International Exhibition and Convention Centre (MIECC) in Seri Kembangan, just next to Mines Shopping Fair. It is a book and education fair, and MACMA was invited to open a food stall in the exhibition. And of course, I tag (or maybe, was dragged) along. 
And we sell Hainanese Chicken Rice.
The fair started last Friday (5th June 2010) and will end on this Sunday (13th June 2010) from 11am to 10pm.

Some of the bookshops that participated in the fair are Gramedia Bookstore, MPH Bookstore and Unipress Dsitributor Sdn Bhd. Fyi, Unipress sells cheap medical books, so fellow med students do come and have a look, and eat the delicious chicken rice. =p

Being in this exhibition, selling food gave me a whole lot of new experience. It's definitely not easy to manage a stall, the tiredness and the fact that I have my End of Sem exam in less than 20 days time freaked me out. I even learned to chop the chicken, and I think the chicken looked horrible. I feel sorry to the customers who had that first few pieces of chicken that I chopped. But hey, the taste is still the same and I can guarantee I've done my best to keep the chicken clean and uncontaminated. So, the look should not matter. 

Since the stall is managed by chinese muslims, the lingua franca of the stall is Mandarin. And being the only one of the family not being able to speak the language, again the urge of mastering the language came into me. But whether or not I'll succeed, it's a totally different story. I think most of the workers in the exhibition knew about our stall, and since most of us are wearing tudung / scarf but speaks Mandarin, it feels special. And last night while I was walking back to the stall from the surau, one of the worker suddenly came and ask me if I'm a Chinese. He asked in Mandarin but the funny thing was, he asked without actually facing and speaking to me, it was almost like he's trying his luck whether I understand his question or not. So when I heard his question coming from my back, I stopped, turned back and looked at him, and replied in the same language (thank God I can understand and speak baby Mandarin).  So then his friends came to me, (guess what, they are from the insurance company) and started to call me to their stall to promote their insurance. I smiled, said thanks but no thanks and left them. It gave me a feeling of "enlightenment", adding on to the fact that I was in a super good mood back from IMU yesterday.

I first hold the chopping knife because I need to replace my sister who's going for her prayer (she's a full time worker while I am only a part-timer cum driver). And my aunts got excited seeing me in the apron with a big chopping knife, she asked my brother to take my pictures. And my, I look awkward. Hahah....

So, please do spare your time and come for the book and education fair, and don't forget to drop by the chicken rice stall (there are not many food stall, you won't get lost)! =)

Anyway, I gotta go now, to fetch some more chicken from the cook's house and bring it to MIECC. 
Till then, salam!

-AkMaR-

Wednesday 9th June 2010
11.42am


Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Destroying Ourselves

She was The Honourable Kezia Saint Martin. She has power, name, a long list of ancestors with histories, and not to forget, fortunes. She was born with Money, Power and History running thick in her veins; the 3 things one cannot conjure up, lie about, or steal. She was blessed with beauty, and style. Her mother was The Lady Liane Holmes-Aubrey before marrying her dad, Mr Keenan Saint Martin. Coming from the royal family of England, Kezia's mother with 9 generations of history, power and money married her father, a very rich American man. And Lady Liane, pressured by the expectations of people towards her, the craze paparazzi put before her and the loneliness in her, drank herself to death. She died a tragic death, a usual way for "them" to die. And Mr Keenan Saint Martin "lost" himself after her death. He died in a car accident. And since then, Kezia was brought up by her trustee, Edward. Kezia disliked her life. She finds no freedom in it. The media stalked her everywhere she goes. She can have everything she wants in the world but freedom. Then, she started writing. She writes under various pseudonyms to free herself. She went undercover when the media thought she was spending her time in some exclusive islands. She went to prisons in search of true stories, travel around the globe collecting experiences and life, and be a journalist. She practically lives under pseudonyms.

He was an ex-con. He was prisoned and spent almost half his life behind the bar. He furthered his study in the jail and he writes. And as soon as Lucas John was freed, while still under probation he made himself famous, loved, and hated. He fought for the fate of his fellow friends in the jail. The jailbirds were being forced to work while in jail, without a decent wage. They were being tortured and treated inhumanely. Lucas made it public. He wrote books about it, he gave speeches, press release and interviews. The inmates loved him. But the authority hated him. He sparked too much fire. He caused the riots in prisons. He's a trouble-maker, to the authority.

And they met by chance. Kezia was asked to do an interview on Lucas John. Her agent knows that Kezia had been living in lies all these while. She wasn't being herself, and he knows that an interview with Lucas John, the man who has nothing to lose and stand up for his friends will do Kezia good. And that was Kezia's first interview. Not surprisingly, these two people fell in love. Knowing that Lucas' life is in constant danger, Kezia was always worried sick.......


Well, that was a brief summary of the novel entitled "Passion's Promise" by Danielle Steel that I had just finished. And guess what, this novel was written in 1977! A 33 year old story, good eh. It was a very good novel I'd say, considering the fact that I'm a fan of Danielle Steel. However, the ending of this story scares me off, and I'm not going to tell what the ending was. =p

Danielle Steel's work are always based on a woman who have a very hard and challenging life. Then she will meet a man with a very hard and challenging life too. And then both of them wad will have hard and challenging lives, together. Haha yeah it sounded pathetic. "Hard + Hard = Hard but together". Although her work had always been like that, it attracts me.

Apart from the hard and difficulty of life shown in this story, it made me realise of a thing. Alcohol addiction, or alcoholism is an easy way out. Kezia's mother killed herself by alcohol intoxication, and so did her school friend, Tiffany. And Kezia nearly destroyed herself too towards the end of the story (luckily she did not). It was all too easy to destroy yourself by alcohol (well, according to movies and stories at least). You drink, get drunk, and forget everything. Isn't that just what someone sober needs? To forget? How nice if we can really forget all the problems (think, exams) we have. So, alcohol is actually one of the best "temporary" way out of problems, if one can forget fatty liver, liver cirrhosis and death waiting in line.

Luckily, Islam prevented us from taking alcohol.
Then, we won't have the chance to destroy ourself.
Say Islam do not prohibit alcohol, I'm sure a lot more people will resort to alcohol to forget their problems and, die of it. Maybe I would have too.
So no matter how sober I am, or how down I might feel, I won't take the easy but destructive way out because Islam do not allow it. I'm not sure if this is an extreme confession. Is this one?

I finished this novel on the second night of my hospital posting. I was supposed to read my lecture notes during free time, but I read novel instead! My mum had her shock of the day when she saw two novels in the bag I brought to the hospital. She knew I haven't finish reading one of them, but she did not expect me to bring a new one. And in respect of my mum, my study and JPA, I did not start reading the second one for I know I'll try my best to finish it up and I really can't afford the time anymore. Plus, the ending of this story put me in an I'd say emotionally vulnerable state. And I'm afraid of the effect the next novel might have on me. Hahah... At times I get too carried away by the story, my bad.

Some people think that reading fictions is a waste of time, it's an immature hobby or just ridiculous. But for me, reading novels give you experience. One gets to know how it is like in other people's shoes. Well, that depends greatly on the ability of the writer but, a good writer can bring the reader into the lives of the characters. Thus, your world is not confined only to your own life. How many things can one experience in their own lifetime? So novel is not only lovey-dovey stories, never ever underestimate the power of novels. There are a lot of things we can learn from it. Take the good ones, and leave the bad ones. After all, it's a healthy hobby. It's like watching a whole episode of someone's live in front of you.

I planned to make this post short, I am not sure how successful I am but, I am stopping now. =p
Salam.

Tuesday 8th June 2010
12.10am

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com

Sunday, June 6, 2010

The Hidden Truth

Assalammualaikum.


There is a country, whose people had been imprisoned in their own land for more than 60 years. This country has no access to the outside world. While the rest of the world is advancing their technologies, economy and population, the people of this country are killed brutally, their properties and lands are seized, and they were accused as terrorists. While the rest of the world launch their latest satellites, the people of this country jeopardise their lives for food, water and basic necessities. While the rest of the people enjoyed themselves having good education, financial stability and modern comfortable lives, these people continue fighting with all their might to protect their lands, dignity and religion. While teenagers all around the world hold beautiful handphones, hi-tech laptops and up-to-date cameras in their hands, the teenagers of this country are holding their country flags, stones and weapons to protect their families. While people in the rest of the world cry due to heart-breaks, loss of properties, or failure in exams, the people of this country cry silently for the death of their family members and friends, vowing to themselves to seek justice. While leaders in the rest of the world are using politics to accumulate their wealth, strengthen their popularities, the leaders of this country put their lives at stake for their people. And this country is named Palestine.

I wrote (or more accurately, copy-pasted) some news on the Freedom Flotilla, the fleet of ships trying to bring humanitarian aids to the people of Gaza on my blog. That was on 24th May 2010. I then left the internet on 30th May for my rotation postings in KKB. On the 31st, I received a shocking news, thanks to my friend who forwarded me the message. The Freedom Flotilla was attacked! Such an inhumane act by the terrorist Zionists!  But I was totally disconnected from the net for 4 days, and when I reached home, the cumulated workload was just too much to be handled that I didn't have time to write or read about any further news. I was only updated by the news via radio. 

In my previous post, one of the questions was whether Israel will prevent the flotilla from entering Gaza, or allow the aid to enter to "demonstrate" that Israel does in fact respect human rights? Not surprisingly, the illegal country chose the former one, accusing the unarmed, raw activists attacking their trained, skilled, armed soldiers. As ridiculous as it sounds, that was what the Zionists did.

M.V. Mavi Marmara is one of the ships in the Freedom Flotilla convoy. Most of the passengers are Turkish. On 31st May 2010, the IDF (israeli defense force) warned the ship to change its course and not send the aid to Gaza. Of course, the activists in the ship refused and continued their way to Gaza to break the maritime-siege of Gaza by Is-not-real. The army then boarded the ship by helicopters and a fight started on board. Nine civilians were KILLED. The commandos claim the activists attacked them first, the activists claimed the Israelis opened fire even before boarding. 

Respectable Malaysian leader, Dr M said
Claiming that the activists attacked the commandos first is equally ridiculous. The forces ranged against them were powerful and enormous, capable of sinking their boats. The Israelis have been known to ram supply boats with their armoured naval vessels. What is clear is that the Israeli's were the ones to attack first by dropping their commandos from the helicopter.
The attack by the inhuman Is-not-real-i army prompted a lot of responses world wide. Activists march to create awareness, public started boycotting the terrorist country's goods and blog posts on the attack published like mushrooms on the net. I just hope that this awareness lasts long; at least longer than the "Fitna" controversy by Dutch about 2 years back. 

As I browsed through the net for news on the raid, I found this one article; "Gaza flotilla hijacked by radicals", it was categorised under "Other Views". This article tried to point out that the passengers of the flotilla weren't only activists and journalists. There were also radicals who went on board, without any "peace" intention in them, just to terrorise and achieve their own personal missions. And some of the "radicals" in the flotilla, according to this article, are those from Islamic Brotherhood (Ikhwanul Muslimin). I like to present other opinions in a lot of matters, so that people can know what other sides there are in a topic rather than having a one-sided view. And then, decide on which is the truth and which are the lies based on personal justificationa and experience. And in this case, I strongly believe this article is WRONG. 

Ya Allah, please help the Gazans, please help all the brave people out there who sacrificed their comfortable lives, and gambled their lives just to send aid to the Gazans. Please help them. And oh God, please do punish the Zionists as heavy as You can, for terrorising the Palestinians, and have the guts to accuse the activists instead. 
Amin.

Sunday
6 June 2010
4.52pm

-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmarr.blogspot.com