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Wednesday, February 11, 2015

Being the most junior in the rank

Assalammualaikum.
OK so I've passed my two months in the service.
In about 4 days time, it will be exactly two months since I started working in this hospital (the first week of service was spent in a hotel, learning about government secrets)

What have happened so far?
Many things la, of course.
Tapi today I want to talk about something a little bit more specific.
Something yang lg senang cite in Manglish.
Something yang, nak kata best boleh, x best pun ada.

You know what people say about HOs kn?
It should be House Officer, tapi ada yang cakap Hamba Orang.
Well, in some ways la. Tp kita mana boleh mengaku hamba selain kepada Yang Maha Esa, betul tak?
But I need to admit la yg in some ways, we are the lowest in the rank.
Yg mana kadang2 nurses pun perangai macam boss ktorg. Demm. Rasa nk gigit dorg wktu tu.

Dh la tu, first posting pulak tu.
Means, even within HOs, ktorg la yang paling kcik dan paling adik.
Lagi la tak tau mende.
Masuk system mmg blurrr sgt.
Amik darah pun awal2 tu ketar2.
Smpai skg, nk masuk branula pun teragak2 (darah slalu la dpt, sbb boleh amik brachial terus. Haha)

To make matters worse, kadang2 ada seniors yg mcm lahir2 terus dh jadi 4th or 5th posters.
Punya la selalu cari kesalahan kitorg.
Whenever we make mistakes, since we are "new", mesti terus tegur dalam group.
"To newcomers......bla bla bla"
"We've told you guys to.....bla bla bla"
"Please do....bla bla bla"

Xtau la whether ktorg slalu dpt the bulk of the work so ktorg slalu terbuat salah or...memang org lain x buat salah OR, bila seniors screw up, the mistakes xkn di blast dlm grp.

Sometimes I feel mcm "Ya Allah...apahal la senior depan aku ni underestimate aku sgt nihh.."
Bnda mcm ni pun nk kna bgtau, stressed kan smpai mcm tu skali ke?

Selalu kena blast dlm grp sbab:
1) Tak bagi definitive plan
2) Alert benda yg x payah alert
3) X alert benda yg kena alert
4) Ktorg xtau nk buat apa

Oh well, nk bgtau ni.
1) Kdg2 tu, bkn ktorg xnk bg definitive plan. Kitorg belum sempaaaat lagi nk type definitive plan kt sms, or x smpat nk screen capture lagi. Terus dpt message "PLEASE GIVE YOUR DEFINITIVE PLAN". Demm, tggu la kjap. Bkn nye u've waited 30mins for the plan. 5minit pun belum. Faham la, ED bkn ada line sgt. Kdg2 messages tu lambat smpai. X perlu la jumpy sgt. Terus terkam ktorg ckp x reti buat kerja

2) Kdg2 tu, ktorg dh consult seniors lain. Senior tu kata, alert kan je. Biar dorg dapat heads up. Tiba2 bila dh alert tu, either a) Dpt message blast dlm grp "Jgn alert klo belum sure, sbab nti pening ktorg" or b) Dpt private message, "Hey don't alert if pt belum optimised"...
Yaaa begitu la ceritanya. Alert susah, x alert kan pun susah.
Satu senior ckp ni, satu lagi ckp ni.


3) X alert kn benda yg kena alert.
OK, ni kna mengaku la. Mmg salah ktorg.
Kdg2 xtau pun bnda ni kena alert. Lagi2 bila involve peri team. X terfikir pun.
Or sometimes, terlepas pandang. Igt kn org sebelum ni dh alert kn (rupanya belum alertkan, sbb pt belum optimised)
Tu, memang ktorg salah.
Sorry eh. Lenkali x buat dah.

4) Xtau nak buat apa.
Ha ni, mixed reactions skit.
Ada yg akn seronok bgtau nk buat apa.
Ada yang "I thought we have told you guys.......bla bla bla"

OK, tiba2 post ni dh ter jadi sesi kutuk seniors.
Don't get me wrong eh.
Mosttt of my seniors now baek2 belaka.
Yg 6th posters tu, baekkk sgt mcm abang2 kakak2.
Fhm je kami yg first posters ni, kadang2 mmg blank and blurr level 9000.
Lenkali dh jadi senior, nk jadi macam dorg.
*mata bersinar penuh harapan memikirkan masa hadapan*

Cuma ada satu, dua, tiga seniors je yg mcm pak polisi gitu.
3 je ke? Ntah, dlm kepala skg mcm ada dua je.
Yg lagi beberapa mcm dh habis posting nih. So xpe la. Let them go.

Ada satu senior ni, baek jugak.
Dia ajar psl pt management, from whatsapp je.
Rupanya dia tgh nk tegur regarding my erm..mismanagement jgk lah waktu tu.
Nk tegur yg I terlepas pandang sesuatu perkara.
So, dia buat macam ni...

"Apa jd kt patient tu semlm?" - Dia tnya maaacam dia xtau psl pt tu

So sy ckp la apa jadi. Cewah, mcm tau sangat. "GCS dia dropped tiba2 semalam...."

Then dia tnya "Apa sebab GCS dia drop?" - tnya mcm dia nk find out more abt pt.

So I said la "Ntah la eh. Nk kata hypo, DXT dia ok." Ha yg ni memang jawapan honest, xtau sebab apa pt tu collapse tiba2.

Pastu dia tnya lagi, "Apa bnda2 yg boleh menyebabkan GCS drop?"
Ha tang tu bru sedar, ohh...dia tgh nk bring me to differentials.
So discuss la tang tung tang tung possible causes of altered GCS.

Lps tu bru la I understand "Ooooo...pt ni collapse sebab tu..."
Alamak, ye ke sbb tu?
Since I did not know the pt collapse sebab "itu", maka I did not monitor vitals dia sgt, sbb patient tu mmg dh intubated.
Seniors lain pun sebelum balik told me "Dia la patient yg awak paling x payah risau. Sebab dia dh intubated"
Makanya, hari itu I did not actually monitor vitals dia / bc report dia, and actually I should have done so.
Walaupun xde la affect sgt management, sbb kita mmg dh x boleh buat apa2 kt patient tu.
And rupanya dia tgh nk bgtau psl bnda yg I missed tu la.
Tgk, kan mcm mengajar dengan lembut tu.
Xde pun "guys....if you are the long shift and there is an intubated patient in your ward...please......bla bla bla" kt dalam group whatsapp.

Tp tu la, disadvantage nye adalah this slight-temporary-incompetency, is known only to me and the people yg I cite.
Tp klo dorg blast dlm grp, sume org la akn tau cite ni. And maybe, x repeat benda yg sama.

Ha ok lah.
Dah habis cite.
Tu je takat ni.
Nanti ada masa boleh cite lagi.
Klo ada senior ke/ MO mana2 terbaca post ni, and mengenali diri ini, ahaks. X blh nk buat apa lah.
Sape makan cili, dia terasa pedas.
Klo x rasa pedas, sila la rasa manis. Kerana anda termasuk orang yang sy puji kat atas nih.

To non-medical people, I think half of this post does not make sense to you.
Sorry eh.
Cant afford the time to explain.

'til then,

-Because life is a test-




-AkMaR-
http://nur-akmar.blogspot.com